My Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and the Rehearsal Process

I haven't mentioned much about my OCD symptoms in the latest series of posts because, in my experience, most serious issues tend to crop up around tech week, and because I find it more universally helpful to address acting techniques than compulsive rituals.

I've been assured by other actors that having elaborate dreams about being onstage in pajamas, or without knowing my lines or queues, is entirely normal for anyone in the theater business and this phenomenon has very little to do with me, or my obsessive compulsive disorder.

However, the month (or longer) of straight rehearsal time can be hard on the nerves.

In my experience, there will be times when you feel as though you live at the theater and just visit everywhere else. With an anxiety disorder, this can be a problem.


How much of a problem it is can depend on the theater itself, and of course, on you. As always, my experience is intrically tied with my particular OCD symptoms (obsessive hand-washing, fear of germs, and general anxiety problems). Everyone's obsessive compulsive disorder is different, so my experiences are actually only going to take you so far. Furthermore, I am so used to my OCD symptoms that I often, I forget that not everyone is ruled by the same compulsive rituals that I am. I assure you, I feel completely normal aside from the sort of issues which can be expected in an anxiety provoking career like acting.


In outdoor theater, many of the facilities I've come to depend on are non-existant.

I'm sure amphitheaters with constructed bathrooms and running water exist, I've just never been to one. More likely, there will be potable toilets and nothing more.


This, with OCD symptoms like mine, is problematic.

In two months working outdoors for four or eight hours a day, I never set foot in one. I planned hand washing and other activities around rehearsals, and assure anyone who is interested that it can be done. Sometimes, you feel like an idiot, but it can be done.

Other problems can arise in the on-stage work itself. Invariably, you'll end up on floor in a show. Oddly, this doesn't bother me much despite my obsessive compulsive disorder.

Maybe, it's because I'm so focused I don't think about my obsessive compulsive disorder until later.

More likely, however, it's actually because the brain is more practical than a person with OCD symptoms might normally think. While I have small rituals that I need to perform to get through the day, there's never anything that I can't reasonably do.

If I need to roll around on the floor for a show, I'll do it. My brain will find something else to fixate on.

I think this might be true of fear of any kind (whether you have an obsessive compulsive disorder or not). If you find that it's truly necessary to do something you're afraid of, you may find doing it isn't so terrible.